You miss him so much.
It’s late and you should be sleeping but you can’t because he’s all you’re thinking about. It sucks because he’s probably not even thinking about you. He’s all you want and he’s all you’re ever going to want. You’ve made the most stupid mistakes in the past few months.
It’s true that you don’t know what you have ‘til it’s gone. You wish you could be happy like you used to. You wish you never did any of this. You wish people wouldn’t come in between your relationship. You wish you weren’t so stupid for not realizing what you had. It sucks laying in bed and realizing how pathetic your life is and how bad it has been. It sucks being used to this kind of pain. All you can think about is him and how happy both of you can be if it was just the two of you and no one else trying to ruin your relationship, that’s all it has been lately. You wish you could just fast forward to your life you have talked about after high school. You hate yourself and you don’t blame him for hating you either.